these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
