I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
