This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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