I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize