I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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