Where is the hickey?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
