If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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