I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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