I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
