I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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