This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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