A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
