Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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