just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
