"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
