Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
