im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
