i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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