Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
