I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
