Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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