I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
