This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
