he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
