am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
