Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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