god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
