My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
