i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
