I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize