Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
