It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
