My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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