it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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