How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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