PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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