he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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