my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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