There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
