i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
