But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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