Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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