I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
