So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to make a zoo with you.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
