Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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