either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
