I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
