Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
