Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
