last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
