I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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