I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize