What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
