break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
