my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
