we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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