i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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