Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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