I showed him my bush... on skype.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
