I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize